Love is a powerful emotion; it may nourish, invigorate, promote, validate and cure. Where there is love, there’s absolutely not any fear, anger or hatred. We yearn for love since it is our birthright and if not we obtained it unconditionally as a kid, our heart aches for it.
First of all, I really do want to say to you,”YOU DESERVE LOVE!” We’re all deserving of love. It’s our birthright although we might have been conditioned differently. A number of you might not feel worthy or deserving of love, some of you might be afraid to love, and some of you might have simply decided that love isn’t something which you ever need to open yourself up to.
But the big question remains: how can you get the love you deserve? You have probably heard the answer earlier, but none that many want to hear. If this answer irritates you, like it did me, it’s understandable. You see, we’re a society of quick fixes, instant gratification, and easy solutions and, regrettably, this is an inside job.
So if it’s inside us, you ask, why can not I feel it? The solution is simple, yet intricate. You have probably built a wall of security around your heart at some stage in your life which has cut yourself off from the true essence. There was probably some pain which you’ve experienced in your past that caused you to guard your heart from being hurt again.
I for one grew up in a dysfunctional family with emotionally accessible mother and father. Love was a lack and very tough to come by. There were moments that I did”feel” love, but the majority of the timeI had to be good, work hard or do something to acquire any of the hot commodity. So with that said I had to cut myself off from my heart to guard myself.
As a kid, you should”feel” love from the parents or caretakers. It’s not sufficient for them to say they love you if their activities don’t emit love. Love is in continuous supply from the Universe or God and is intended to flow through every one of us. When a well-meaning parent is cut off in their love, they are unable to allow the energy to flow through for their kids. As children, we’re extremely subjective and do not know that our parents”can not” love us, rather, we make up the narrative that we do not deserve love or are not lovable, or even that there’s something wrong with US.
And we take those beliefs through life bringing one situation after another that echoes that same message. Those beliefs are so gaping within our subconscious mind that we do not even know it is the driving force behind our lack of love. It’s uncovering those beliefs that can help you to get the love you deserve.
In case you have beliefs that you deserve a love that’s entangled with abuse, that’s what you will get. If you feel that you deserve conditional love, that’s what you will get. If you believe that you don’t deserve love, then it’ll not be easy for everyone to love you and you’ll probably undermine anything that resembles love.
Create a list of what LOVE means to you according to your childhood and previous experiences. It doesn’t envy, it doesn’t boast, it isn’t proud. It’s not rude, it’s not self-seeking… etc”. This is the way love is supposed to be, however, a lot of you might have a different definition. For me, it was”love has been yelled at, love is being hurt and feeling dangerous, love never sticks around, love is manipulative… etc.” Once it is possible to specify what love is to you, then you can start to dismantle the lies and set a new meaning of love.
Another great indicator of what love looks like to you is the way you treat yourself. Do you look after yourself and your health? Do you have friends that don’t treat you well? If you’re hard on your own or a perfectionist, this comes from deep feelings of inadequacy, and you’ll attract others who mirror that.
So once you ask yourself”what’s the love I deserve?” There might be a conflict between the rational mind and the subconscious mind. I am positive that you”know” you deserve kind, gentle, safe, unconditional love but if these inherent beliefs say something different, they will always triumph.
Bear in mind, you will always get the love you deserve in order learning how to love yourself and convince yourself that you deserve the best and highest type of love, you will eventually have the ability to get real love.